‘Could’ host the royal wedding, as in it’s a possibility that may have been realised – don’t start flapping and buying hats – you’re probably not invited anyway!
Even so, there’s no reason why this town of ours couldn’t have pulled it off- what better message to send the world than to do away with all that tradition, pomp and un-necessity and book out the Pavilion, with a reception in a marquee on the seafront.
And forget all the military bands and horses and swords, we’d have tranny stilt walkers with surfboards making the wedding arch of swords, and music by that nutter on the recycled drum kit – if you get the chance stop and listen to the man, he’s fantastic.
We’d have the official wedding photos taken on the pier, with Kate and Wills’ faces peering through the cardboard cut-outs of cartoon bathers, we’d even offer the royals discounted rooms in Brighton – just don’t book one for Harry, too rowdy for us!
It’s not as if there’s a shortage of places they could have their picture taken; the newly renovated bandstand in Hove has wedding parties queing up. Or just take them on the beach. Can you see it? Half way through the photo shoot by Testino, some student chilling between exams asks Prince Phillip if he’s got a light for the BBQ…
Then they could all drift along to Hove lawns for refreshments and a game of football: 1st Battalion the Welsh Guards vs Hove lifeguards and Spartan Fitness.
But no, it’s all happening up in London. So the least we could do is provide royal wedding discounts on our hotel rooms in Brighton – after all, you know every other American is already booking flights to the UK right now!
If you’re coming to the south coast we’ve royal wedding discounts for you! See you there.Share on Facebook